My Father, My Hero

On August 13th my Father was diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer. On Aug. 20th he passed on. My heart is breaking. My Father and I have not had the best relationship. It was not until the last year and a half that we actually started to bond and really get to know each other. He was my Mom's High School sweetheart. He served his country in the Vietnam war and earned several medals for his bravery. Unfortunately that took a big toll on him mentally and physically. He came back a different man then the one my mom married. It was not long after that that they divorced. I really didn't get to realize that I had a biological father until I was about 11 years old. I knew in my heart that something was missing and I didn't feel like I was Daddy's Little Girl. I had always felt this void. But by then my Mom had remarried and the Father I got to know was actually my Step-father. He attempted on several occasions to get to know me but the timing was somehow off and I felt like he was going about trying to get to know me the wrong way. It wasn't until my son was born that we had started our healing process. It took years before I actually let my guard down to let him in and get to know me. I knew that after the kids were born that I could not stay upset. He had the right to get to know his grandchildren. I was not going to deny him that right. I am glad I got to know my Dad over the last couple of years. Even though I wish things had been different growing up, I knew my parents did the best they could in trying to raise my Brother and I.

Thank you Dad for letting me get to know you the last couple of years. I miss you so much and I am glad you are not in pain anymore. I know you struggled for so long. You may have been taken from this Earth, but I always know you are by my side and watching over your Grandchildren. I love you Dad.